"if you somehow manage to use up 8 GB of memory on a computer, something's very wrong" okay sure, I'm with you so far "your problem is perl, you need to use a real language like C" ...um, what.
Excuse me.
Manual memory management is not The Only Way. A few kilobytes of memory here and there is not always worth that massive pain.
And that manual memory management you're touting makes it way, /way/ easier to spring memory LEAKS, which are far worse for overall memory usage than whatever Perl does.